No, I don't need a day away from my mom (on the contrary, I could use a visit right now). I need a day away from my kids. Don't get me wrong I LOVE my children. Some days it is just hard to cope with 5 kids underfoot. And it is twice as hard because I work out of my home so I am here 24/7-- apart from the occasional trip to the grocery store or Walgreens. I couldn't tell you the last time I went to see a movie in a theater...I actually think it was Willy Wonka (the one with Johnny Depp). And my husband and I go out to dinner exactly once a year for our anniversary (if we're lucky).
To understand what it is like here, picture this...the average family has 2.5 children so double that, triple the noise level and throw in a too small house filled with the clutter of seven(teen) people. If I'm not tripping over a child or a toy I'm stepping on the dogs half-chewed bones (yes, we have two dogs, Jack, a yellow lab and Bella, a mutt, plus two giant tropical fish, Timmy Turner, a 16 inch Pacu and Oscar the Grouch, a 10 inch Oscar). There is barely a minute of the day when someone isn't crying, yelling, laughing too loudly or watching TV with the volume up too high. Even when my three oldest are in school and my 4YO is in preschool (for a whopping 2 1/2 hours each day) I still can't get any peace. Because my 17MO is a clinger. She wants to be held constantly and if she can't be held she has to be under my desk playing and trying to turn off my computer. If I dare put her down or remove her from under my desk you'd think I beat her with a stick. She screams louder than anyone I've ever met ("Nothing wrong with her lungs" my pediatrician remarked when she gave DD her flu shot).
The only time I find peace is when all the kids are asleep in bed. I can actually hear myself think. With five kids, all on different schedules that means most of my quiet time happens after 11 PM. This doesn't leave me much "Me Time" let alone time for sleep.
Last night's scenario (a typical night is for me)...my 17MO decided she didn't want to go to sleep. Finally at 11 I dropped her in my husband's lap (he was watching a movie and I only slept for 4 hours the night before) and went to bed. She fell asleep almost immediately, of course, and he put her down in her crib. I was just beginning to drift off when she started screaming. My DH picked her up and held her for a few minutes then brought her in to me. "Can you hold her for a minute?" I ended up falling asleep with her in my arms. Oh, and did I mention that my 6YO was also sleeping in the bed. I had to separate her from the pack because she kept waking up the other kids. Around 2 AM my husband came to bed, we shifted all the kids over and I fell back asleep. That was until my 4YO came down crying she had a nightmare. So at 3:30 I had 3 pairs of feet stuck in my back--even a king size bed isn't big enough for two adults and three children. Needless to say I didn't get much sleep and I had to get up early this morning to work.
To top it off, for some reason my kids decided today that they didn't have to listen to me. At. All. I asked my oldest to run downstairs and put away her laundry. She walked right past me like I didn't exist and went outside to play in the fresh snow. I asked my 8YO to unload the dishwasher. When I walked back into the kitchen a few minutes later, the dishwasher was still full of clean dishes and DD is nowhere to be found. My 6YO spilled Legos all over the floor and refused to pick them up and my 4YO yelled at me because I forgot to buy pickles at the store. They are all mad at me because I took away the Wii until they clean up their rooms. Yet not motivated enough to actually pick up all the discarded garbage on their floor. I asked them all to clear their lunch plates from the table and three hours later said table is still full of dirty dishes.
It sounds like the kids are already having a mommy-free day! Someone just forgot to tell me ;-)
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Friday, January 9, 2009
Join me in the fight against breast cancer
Please visit my site to follow my progress and donate to the cause! www.the3day.org/goto/k8thegreat
I am walking in memory of Margaret Kelly (my husband Colm's mother), Elizabeth "Lilly" Crangle (Colm's aunt) and Jackie Kelly McCann (Colm's sister) three wonderful people whose lives were cut short by Breast Cancer.
Our story
Colm and I found out this past summer that his sister Jackie was a carrier of a BRCA2 gene (she passed away in February 2008 at the age of 42). What does this mean to us? Colm has a 50% chance of also carrying this gene and if he does, the girls all have a 50% chance of carrying the gene. God forbid they do carry it, they have a 45-85% risk of breast cancer and an 11-23% risk of ovarian cancer.
Having five daughters this is extremely terrifying for us*. So much so that I have decided to participate in the Breast Cancer 3-Day, a 60 mile walk over 3 days to raise money for Susan G. Komen for the Cure and the National Philanthropic Trust Breast Cancer Fund.
Walks are scheduled in several cities throughout the year. I have chosen to participate in the Washington DC walk to be held October 9-11, 2009. This gives me a year to train and raise the minimum donation of $2,300 to walk. I have already raised $2,200, only $800 until I reach my goal. I would appreciate your help.
*We were very fortunate to found out in October that Colm does not carry the BRCA2 gene!
Monday, January 5, 2009
My Mommy Brain
I'm suffering from a severe case of Mommy Brain. I can't remember ANYTHING.
Now I was warned when I was pregnant that I would get "Pregnancy Brain," but I was promised it would reverse itself after I gave birth and all those raging hormones were gone. WRONG! After each child (five total--all girls no less), my brain capacity seemed to shrink by 20 percent. I must be down to about 11%, max.
I walk into a room and instantly forget why I entered said room. I look around thinking "Why did I come in here?" and more often than not, I won't remember until several hours later, "Oh yeah! I wanted a cup of tea." or "Crap! I forgot to call the vet and change Jack's appointment!" Short of tattooing the information on my forearm, I just can't seem to get my s#*& together.
And yes, I make lists.
I have lists everywhere. Grocery lists, to do lists, task lists, work lists, personal lists...you name it. I will dutifully write down all the items I need to get from the grocery store and leave the list at home. When I return from the store I spent $200 and still forgot the eggs. My dear husband is no help, either.
Ring! "Hey honey. I forgot my grocery list. Can you read to me what's written on the fridge?" "Where on the fridge?" "It's right on the door about three-quarters of the way down on the right-hand side." "I don't see a grocery list here, just a bunch of scribbles: mink, egos, breast, butts...what kind of list is this anyway!?!" "Oh just forget it!" click.
I can't remember my kids names. Okay, give me a little leeway here. I do have five kids, all girls as I think I might have already mentioned, and with the exception of sweet little Gillian, they are all redheads. So when I'm calling for my oldest to run downstairs and put the clothes in the dryer I go through the entire list of names before the correct one is called. "Kylagillygabbyannacaehlin. You! Child number one, get over here!" I use to make fun of my sister-in-law for constantly saying Connorstephen whenever she was looking for one of her boys. It was just easier than trying to get the correct name the first time, she said. Whatever, I thought, how can you not remember your own child's name?!? Now I do the same thing! but I take it one step further...I can't always remember all of their names! "Kyla...ah, Gillian, Annaliese, wait, who am I forgetting?"
This is maddening! I'm ONLY 38. I'm not supposed to forget things like the precise time, date, weight, length and APGAR score of each of my children. My pediatrician must think I am a moron because I can't keep my kids birthday's straight. I'm always saying November 7th for Caehlin even though she was born on the 6th. Or I will call to make an appointment for one child and give the receptionist the birth date of one of the others. "What did you say your child's name was?" "Oh I'm sorry, I have too many children! I meant Annaliese on Jan 2."
No really, I'm not an idiot. I just have Mommy Brain.
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